Firstly, I want to justify the score I gave it. 70% is really high for a game of this length and quality - but its unintentional humour is through the roof. This is a game so bad, so insanely, haphazardly put together, so ridiculously pointless that you'll find yourself begging other people to play it.

Firstly, lets start with the title. It's called Ghost Expert II. But there are no ghosts in the game. He's not an expert at anything and -- its a sequel?! How in the blind name of humping Christ could anyone consider this an improvement upon anything? The original must be horrifying!

But what makes this game so stupid? The gameplay. Firstly, there's no story. In fact, there might be, but its in a language I can't read. Never mind, because its easy enough to pick up. Move with the arrows, attack with Z or X and jump with C. OK, simple - what's not to like?

How about the fact that you will face (at a rough estimate) about a MILLION baddies. There are three-five types whose incredible sheer overwhelming numbers renders their individual looks useless. Flying ones are dispatched the same way as the Han Solo look-a-likes. The Han's are killed the same way as the big Goro fellas. Essentially - oh excuse me - exclusively, what you do is run right, press jump a lot and when you have to run on land, hit Z a lot to slice up hundreds of people.

Seriously, you kill, without even trying, over 150 enemies in a level. There are approximately ten levels, the end of each claims that you are headed to the Moon. There are two boss levels - and I'm not kidding you on this one - the first boss is a gigantic killer, floating fish. Which controls a ball on a chain.

The surface has barely been scratched on this one. More can be said about the pointlessness of the whole thing. More can be said about the abrupt ending. If you had any doubts as to the games substance, Lord, have 'em when you find out what the point of the game is. And ask yourself: WHY??

I'll tell you why. Because I said its so stupendously bad and you wanted to see if I was right.